


Love and Pain

by Tsukasa_Akabane



Category: Samurai Love Ballad: PARTY, 天下統一恋の乱 Love Ballad | Samurai Love Ballad (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Masochism, Porn with Feelings, Sadism, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 07:46:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11504868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsukasa_Akabane/pseuds/Tsukasa_Akabane
Summary: [Name] hated the sight of blood and suffering she had caused. She hated it because it was wrong. She hated that she love seeing the pain on her victims face and she hated the fact that she feels so alive at the sight of the suffering she had caused. It was wrong but it felt so right. She felt good doing it but when her mind cleared, she felt disgusted of herself. She wanted to stop but she couldnt stop herself. Her sadism was a bad case. So what will happen when she meets Honda Tadakatsu who has a bad case of masochism?





	1. The Arrival

 

Corpses were scattered around the silent forest. The scent of death lingers in the air as blood painted the green grass on the ground.

The scene was terribly ugly making a lone figure of a beautiful woman standing among the dead so out of place.

Long pretty locks danced in the air as her seemingly delicate hands held the short sword that took the life of the men around her.

Bandits. These dead men were bandits. These low lives who victimized lone travellers finally met their end on the hands of this young lady. 

They probably thought they could sell her on a high prize and decided to attack her unknowing that they were facing one of the best female ninja of Iga.

[Name] was on her way to Mikawa to serve it's current lord, Tokugawa Ieyasu. The said lord already have a ninja on his service but a few weeks ago, he requested for another one. And so, she was sent.

As the adrenaline finally subsided, [Name]'s eyes blinded by bloodlust settled down to the mess she had made.

"Again, huh?" she whispered as sorrow marred her beautiful face.

She sighed and pulled a cloth from her sleeves. She cleaned up the short sword with the cloth and was about to return the cloth back when she noticed how much blood stain was on it. She decided that washing it would be a serious pain and drop it on the ground.

"You're going to be late." a sudden voice sounded.

Without giving the newcomer a glance, she returned the short sword back on its sheath. "They were on the way." she replied before moving to one of the dead bandits to pick up the small sack of money they apparently stole before they met their end on her hands. "What are you doing here, Kiyohiro?"

"I'm on my way to send a message and I happened to smell death."

[Name] let a cackle. Of course he would be attracted at the scent of death. He was also a ninja. And ninjas were basically death's shadow.

"You're a messy killer as usual." Kiyohiro commented as he scanned her 'masterpiece'.

He was right. Her victims have cuts on different part of their body. Ugly cuts. It was messy. It was bloody.

"Unlike you, I couldn't make a clean kill even if I try to." she stated, sadness was hidden on her [e/c] eyes.

Kiyohiro sighed as he looked up. The sun were about to set and crows who apparently sensed the corpses were beginning to gather at the area.

"You better hurry now. Lord Ieyasu dislikes waiting."

"Yeah. I'll see you around, brother." [Name] said before disappearing, leaving Kiyohiro standing alone in the middle of the dead grounds.

"Still unable to control yourself, huh?"

 

* * *

 

 

Honda Tadakatsu, one of the Tokugawa's 'Four Heavenly Kings' was a good man. A great general, a fierce warrior and...

"You're a filthy masochistic pervert."

...a filthy masochistic pervert.

Every retainer of the Tokugawa knows his masochistic tendency. His love of degradation and pain was a mystery not only to observers but also to Tadakatsu himself. As long as he could remember, he fancied being called a filth and being treated like one. That was probably one of the reason why he could last long being one of Tokugawa Ieyasu's close retainer.

"Ahh... Thank you, Lord Ieyasu. Yes I'm a big pervert."

Ieyasu gave him a terrifying glare while the three other men present just shook their heads at how hopeless Tadakatsu was.

"You do realize that your personality makes people uncomfortable, right?" Sakakibara Yasumasa said.

"I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just merely enjoying myself." the smiling Tadakatsu replied.

Deciding to ignore the 'filthy pervert', Ieyasu turned to his oldest retainer, Tadatsugu. "Where is the ninja I requested? Why isn't he here yet?" the annoyed lord questioned the old balding man.

Before the old man could answer, a voice sounded, interrupting him.

"Milord, the ninja has arrived."

 

* * *

 

 

[Name] wasn't sure what to expect being Tokugawa's ninja. She have never personally served a lord before. All her missions were about assassination's so this will be the first time she would be someone's lapdog.

The retainer who met her at the gate gave her a curious look the moment he saw her. [Name] wasn't sure what was that about. He didn't say a word about it though and just asked her to follow him.

He led her through the corridors and stopped just in front of a room.

"Milord, the ninja has arrived."

"Come in." a voice sounded.

The retainer opened the sliding door and step aside to let her walk in.

There were five people inside the room and everyone were looking at her strangely.

Deciding to ignore the rude stares, she kneeled down infront of the man at the dais.

She opened her lips to introduce herself but a poisoned voice has beaten her.

"What the hell?! We asked for a ninja! Not a whore!"

[Name] looked over the one who unnecessarily voiced his displeasure. It was a man with green eyes and curly golden brown hair. He has a terrible scowl on his lips and were eyeing her with disgust.

[Name] bit her lip to stop the word that were about to come out of her. She knew who was that man. That was Sakakibara Yasumasa. It'll be troublesome to make an enemy out of him.

Ignoring Yasumasa, [Name] turned her attention to the man on the dais. "I'm [Name], milord. A ninja from Iga and as requested, I am here."

"Oh? So they decided to send a female ninja this time, huh?" the man sitting on the dais, Tokugawa Ieyasu smiled although his eyes weren't.

It seems that these guys were displeased of having a female ninja sent to them. She mentally shook her head. Samurai's and their men's pride.

"I may be a woman but I'm one of the Iga's finest. Iga is grateful of your continued support. They will never send you a low rank ninja, milord." [Name] didn't mean to sound rude but her tone kinda end up sounding one much to Sakakibara Yasumasa's displeasure.

"Why you..." Yasumasa pulled his sword out but as the glint of the sharp metal caught [Name]'s eyes, red began to fill her sight and before anyone could respond, she was already behind Yasumasa, short sword threatening to slit his throat.

"Wh-what?!"

The men around stared in surprise, including Lord Ieyasu.

"I suggest you put that sword down." [Name] whispered in a dark and disturbing tone. Her lips were curled into a rather seductive smile in contrast of the bloodlust seeping out of her.

Yasumasa's eyes were wide in surprise. He remained still. A slight move would seriously draw a blood, he was sure.

"I said, I'm one of Iga's finest and my expertise is murder. I may be under your lord's service but I won't hesitate to cut anyone who mock me."

"That's enough. Let him go, [Name]. You proved your point." Ieyasu said.

[Name] stared at Yasumasa's head for a bit before pulling away. The murderous aura, subsiding as she put back her short sword back on it's sheath as if almost killing Yasumasa didn't happened.

"You will be following my orders while Kiyohiro is away. It was always a trouble whenever Kiyohiro was on a mission. I needed someone to do the dirty work in here when he was not available, that's why you're here." Ieyasu explained.

"I understand milord." [Name] bowed her head.

"Tadatsugu, show the ninja her room." the lord ordered.

"As you ordered, milord." the oldest of the men present offered her a kind smile. "Please follow me."

"Thank you." [Name] smiled back before turning to bow at the Lord of Mikawa.

She then followed the old man out of the room. 

When the elders assigned her for the mission, she thought it won't be an easy mission. Turned out that she was right.

 

* * *

 

As Tadatsugu and the female ninja left, silence aired at the room.

Yasumasa was angry, Ieyasu was thinking while Toramstsu wasn't sure what to do.

Tadakatsu on the other hand has a strange look on his face and Toramatsu was the one who noticed it.

With a questioning look, Toramatsu stared at the older man. "Lord Tadakatsu? What's wrong?"

Tadakatsu let a deep breath and turned to Toramatsu. The disturbing expression he makes whenever someone was degrading him was present.

"She made me hard."

Toramatsu turned his back to the  perverted retainer and left the room pretending he didn't heard what the man said. 

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Pain

 

Toramatsu watched as Tadakatsu blabbed about the new female ninja that their lord hired. 

He has been telling everyone that he has fallen in love with her at the first sight.

The retainers listening to him were just laughing, not taking him seriously. After all, everyone knows that when Tadakatsu said he fell in love, it meant that he found someone who could probably feed his masochism.

It has been three days since the lady arrived and since then, no one have seen her. 

It wasn't really strange considering that she was a ninja. She wasn't required to meet the other retainers. She only needed to interact with their lord, Ieyasu or maybe Tadatsugu.

Truth to be told, only few retainers knows her existence. Most of those 'few' only found out because of Tadakatsu and his big mouth.

He keep going on and on about how beautiful she was and how jealous he was to Yasumasa who has experienced being threatened by her blade.

Yasumasa was annoyed hearing it of course, but no matter how he tried to threaten Tadakatsu, the guy still keep going about it, telling everyone who was willing to listen.

"You really are strange, Lord Tadakatsu." one of the retainers said with a chuckle. "If it was me, I would try to avoid such a lady."

"Why? Think about it. A beautiful lady on top of you, treating you like a worthless garbage and giving you a lot of pain. It's the best feeling you'll ever experience." Tadakatsu said in glee.

Toramatsu sighed. He'll never understand what kind of brain the guy has.

 

* * *

 

_"There is a spy among my retainers. Find out who it was and bring him to me."_

That was what Lord Ieyasu ordered her.

According to him new retainers joined them a few months ago. 

Tokugawa has always been burdened by local rebels and since the arrival of these new retainers the rebel forces began reading them like an open book. Whatever the Tokugawa's next move, the rebel would know.

Ieyasu wanted the spy gone.

Finding who exactly the spy was easy. [Name] however decided to observe him more just in case he wasn't alone. And it was the right decision.

[Name]'s eyes narrowed as the man secretly handed one of the maid's a scroll. The two exchanged glances before they parted ways as if nothing happened.

Her eyes followed the figure of the maid. She carefully hid the scroll as she rounded the corner.

[Name] jumped down from her hiding place and was about to follow her when...

"Ah! Miss ninja!"

[Name] turned startled. Her wide eyes turned to the men approaching her. It was Honda Tadakatsu and a guy called Toramatsu. Both were carrying scrolls. 

[Name] mentally berated herself for not being able to sense them coming. Sometimes, she tend to fail to notice anything else when she was focused on something. She swore this flaw of her would get her killed someday. 

And to think she call herself one of the best female ninja of Iga? Yuki would surely laugh at her if she was there.

"I'm glad I saw you!" Tadakatsu said, face was red.

The other guy, Toramatsu gave the man with him a troubled look. "Please behave yourself, Lord Tadakatsu."

"Uhm... Is there any reason why you need to see me?" [Name] asked wondering if she was needed for something.

"Ahh... Yes. I really needed to see you or else I will die."

[Name] raised an eyebrow at this. Was he being threatened to be killed if he failed to find her? She didn't know Tokugawa Ieyasu was that cruel to his retainers.

However, Tadakatsu's next words stunned her.

"Ever since you threatened Yasumasa, I couldn't take you out off my mind. I always dream of you threatening to kill me every night." the blushing Tadakatsu stated.

[Name] turned to look at Toramatsu as if asking him what was going on.

Seeing the look on her face, Toramatsu sighed. "Sorry. But please ignore him." he started. "You see, our Lord Tadakatsu here is.... special. He's... Well... He likes pain." Toramatsu explained, obviously uncomfortable.

Ahh... So he was a masochist. Well, she was not going to judge him. She has her own issues after all.

[Name] looked up to Tadakatsu. He was looking at her, red faced and with an expression you could interpret as 'lovestruck'.

She turned to look away.

She wasn't going to judge but he was making a disturbing face, it was uncomfortable.

Deciding to change the topic, she looked down to the scrolls they were carrying.

"May I ask what those scrolls for!"

"These are important scrolls. There were a lot of secrets about the Tokugawa clan in here. Lord Ieyasu ordered us to bring these to him." Toramatsu explained.

[Name] remembered the spy, giving one of the maid's a scroll.

Her eyes widened and without a word she left the two retainers.

 

* * *

 

"Aww... She left." Tadakatsu pouted as the ninja disappeared in a flash.

"You probably creep her out." Toramatsu commented.

"Ahh! If that's the case she'll be avoiding me from now on!" Tadakatsu said sounding happy. "She'll start treating me like a pest then!"

Toramatsu sighed for the unknown time.

"Let's just go and bring this to Lord Ieyasu."

 

* * *

 

[Name] picked the scroll up. Around her were dead bodies of what she assumed as the rebels. 

She left Tadakatsu and Toramatsu to follow the maid.

The maid who left the palace has led her to the forest and there, she witnessed her passing the scroll to some men.

When the maid left, [Name] decided to strike and killed the men.

[Name] looked down on her clothes and chuckled bitterly at the sight of blood covering her. 

"I'm filthy." she muttered although she wasn't sure if she was talking about her state or about her tendency to give each and every victim a torturous and painful death as possible.

Just then, she heard footsteps. Alerted, she jumped up to the tree and hid herself.

A little girl then came on her field of view.

The girl screamed in terror at the sight of the dead bodies.

"Nooo!!! Father!!!"

The little girl kneeled in front of one of the dead men and wailed.

[Name] gritted her teeth. The assassin in her tells her that she only did her job but the 'human' side she has kept deep inside her were full of sorrow.

 

* * *

 

"Where is it?!" Ieyasu snarled, throwing one of the scrolls to the two retainers who carried the scrolls.

Tadakatsu seems like he was enjoying their lord's bite while Toramatsu was terrified.

"Are you sure you guys didn't dropped it? Or maybe you left it." Yasumasa asked, his tone sounded like he doesn't really care about the answer though.

"No, we got all of them and I'm sure we didn't drop it." Toramatsu replied.

"Ahh~ Lord Ieyasu, punish me for the lost document~" Tadakatsu offered.

"You stupid pervert." Ieyasu grumbled.

"Yes, milord. Please degrade me more~"

A figure jumped down in the middle of the room, surprising everyone.

"I found the scroll, milord." It's the female ninja.

"What in the world happened to you? Why are you bloody?" Ieyasu shot, totally ignoring the scroll that he has been missing.

"Ah..." [y/n] let a bitter chuckle. "I'm dirty. They're not my blood though. Its from the rebels who stole the scroll."

Ieyasu took the scroll from her, annoyed that she was dripping blood on the tatami.

"I'll listen to you later. For now, get cleaned. You're messing the floor."

"As you wish, milord." she said and disappeared.

"Ah! Wait! Miss [Name]!" Tadakatsu run out after her, like a child chasing a butterfly, leaving the three men.

"Toramatsu, clean the floor." Ieyasu ordered.

"Yes, milord." Toramatsu run out of the room, probably to grab a rag and water.

"Lord Ieyasu, are you sure about that ninja? I think she's mentally unstable." Yasumasa commented as Toramatsu disappeared.

"As long as she's useful, I don't mind. Ieyasu said. " But I want you to prepare to strike her if she ever did something unnecessary. "

Yasumasa grinned as he heard the order. "I will."

 

* * *

 

[Name] sat alone on the roof. She haven't cleaned up yet. Her mind was being troubled by guilt as she remembered the child crying for her father at the forest.

Ever since as a child, she was trained to kill. Iga has drilled in her that feelings such as pity and kindness weren't needed by the children of the night like them.

As a child, she was kind and soft hearted and Iga didn't liked that.

They put her through countless assassination missions one after another to the point of losing her mind. 

She became so fascinated by pain and agony of her victims and it turned her into a twisted woman. 

But then, once her mind was cleared, guilt would haunt her and in face of her guilt, she was powerless.

"You're dirty again." a voice sounded.

[y/n] didn't looked up. She knew who it was and she knew she has been there watching her for a while now.

"Finally shown yourself, Yuki?"

Kirigakure Yuki, another female ninja of Iga and her close friend, sat beside her. She pulled a cloth and wiped [Name]'s bloody face.

"Don't. I'll get blood on me later again, anyway." [Name] whispered.

Yuki ignored her protest and continued cleaning her up. "Being a ninja wasn't really for you."

"You think I didn't know that?" [Name] bitterly chuckled. "If I have a choice, I would choose to be a farmgirl and marry a farmguy and die as a peasant." she looked down. "I'll choose anything but being a moonlight's child."

"There is a way out, you know." Yuki reminded her.

"I know but no one would do it for someone like me."

The wind gently danced around them as the sat in silence. 

It was Yuki who broke that silence after a while. "Is it getting worst?" she asked, looking up to the darkening sky.

[Name] nodded. "If I don't cause or see pain at least once a day, I'll start to shake uncontrollably and my sight would go dark. Then once I return to my senses, I would realize that I just killed someone." she bit her lip. "Someone who was innocent and have done nothing wrong."

Yuki sighed. "So seeing pain is what you needed?"

[Name] nodded. "Pain always leads to death though. So I don't have a choice."

Yuki looked down below as a retainer walked to the garden. It seems that the guy was looking for something.

"Who said that?" Yuki questioned.

[Name] turned to Yuki. "What?"

"Who said that pain always leads to death?" Yuki turned to look at her with a mysterious smile. "There are different kinds of pain in this world and some of them were quite... 'enjoyable'."

[Name] stared at her friend questioningly but the other woman gave no hint on what she meant.

"I better go now." Yuki said and stood up. She gave [Name] a smile. "Think about what I said." with that, the ninja disappeared.

[Name], now left alone looked down on her feet.

"Pleasurable pain?"

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**


End file.
